TikToker Emilie Kiser’s Lawyer Speaks Out on “Worst Nightmare” After Son’s Drowning Death
Content warning: This story discusses suicide.
Granger Smith‘s wife Amber Smith is remembering a difficult time in their lives.
Six years after their 3-year-old son River died in a drowning accident, Amber recounted the tragedy’s aftermath, including her perspective on the former country singer’s suicide attempt.
“He was out with the guys in Boise, Idaho, one night after a show,” she began in an excerpt published by People Sept. 25. “They walked over to the local bar, laughed, and told old stories, all while drinking more than he had since River died. When the evening wrapped up, he found himself drunkenly walking back to his tour bus alone.”
Realizing the “severity of the situation in that moment” in that he “hadn’t been drunk in a really long time,” Amber—who also shares kids London, 14, Lincoln, 11, and Maverick, 4, with Granger—said her husband “quickly grabbed for the weed pen and took a hit, hoping it would bring him out of his drunken state a bit, but nothing changed.”
“Visions of River facedown in the pool assaulted his thoughts and lies pierced his conscience that he was a failure as a father, that he had let River down,” she wrote. “In a moment of utter despair, he fumbled for the gun he kept in the drawer by his bed for safety on the road, aiming to end the pain.”
To this day, Amber remains heartbroken that Granger “felt like this was the only way out” at the time.
Amber Smith/Instagram
“That night my sweet, incredible husband, the wonderful father of my kids, put a cold Glock 9mm into his mouth,” Amber shared. “I cry even typing this.”
She continued, “I wish I could have grabbed him, shaken him, and said, ‘You’re a good father! I love you! We’ve got this! This isn’t the way!’”
Fortunately, Granger “became aware that the voice quietly telling him to pull the trigger wasn’t his own,” Amber wrote, adding that her husband—now a minister—was “engulfed in spiritual warfare.”
“In that moment of crying out to God, the visions suddenly stopped,” she shared, “the gun slipped out of his hand and he collapsed to the floor, falling asleep in a puddle of his own tears, fully clothed on the bathroom floor of his bus.”
Granger also detailed his suicide attempt in his 2023 memoir Like a River, where he detailed the moment he decided not to pull the trigger
“Unconsciously, my hand ripped the pistol out of my mouth,” he wrote, “and my voice cried out in desperation: ‘My God, my Jesus! Save me! Save me, Jesus!’”
Amber Smith/Instagram
The singer heard his screams echoing “off the walls” of his tour bus and the room around him stopped spinning.
“The Glock slid off my tear-soaked hand and onto the bed” he shared. “Weeping bitterly, I fell to the floor.”
Since River’s death, Amber and Granger have been candid about their grief. As shared in a 2019 Instagram post, “Getting back on the road and back into daily life without River has not been easy in the slightest. Every single thing reminds me of him, and all I can think about is how he would love exploring and seeing all that we are seeing.”
She added at the time, “Dumb little things don’t matter anymore. My family does. My faith does. We’ve got this, because God’s got us.”
And when the couple’s youngest son Maverick was born, they found a way to pay a special tribute to River with his name.
“I wanted ‘Riv’ to be a part of it, of his first name,” Amber shared in a 2021 YouTube video. “I wanted this baby to have his own identity. And I didn’t want him to be so tied to River, but I did want him to have a little piece of his brother in his name.”
Granger noted, “He’ll forever be connected to his brother, his big brother Riv. So it’s important that his name is, too.”
If you or someone you know needs help, call 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also call the network, previously known as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, at 800-273-8255, text HOME to 741741 or visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional resources.
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